As If I'm Becoming Untouchable
by RahnElloise
Summary: This is a story that immediately ran through my mind at the end of Shadow Kissed. When I simply couldn't believe that Dimitri was gone and turned. In this story - he isn't. He returns but certainly isn't the same man he once was, and neither is Rose the same girl. This is my first spout at writing in years. There will be a lemon(s) in this story.
1. Chapter 1

Hey all!

Firs time writing in a very very long time so excuse any of the really terrible mistakes I probably make. I don't have anyone to help me when writing at the moment - except on friend who is sadly on the other side of the country on a diffeerent timetable!

This chapter is just kind of...building up to what I want for this story. I realise that what is written are things that we all already know but...it is just my writing process I guess to get into the head of Rose.

PLEASE REVIEW! EVEN IF YOU HATE IT! I need to know what people think.

This story will not alter the world the Richelle Mead created and I hope to do it justice in my version of how I saw what happened after Shadow Kissed.

Enjoy!

Rahn

/

My life had certainly not turned out how I had imagined it – not that I ever dwelled too much beyond the next week. Wasn't the planning type – more just a doer. If there was anything I wanted, I went and got it. Rose Hathaway, reckless, headstrong and stubborn. So – yeah planning ahead wasn't something that anyone really expected from me.

I did know a few things though, and these to me were written in stone. I would be Lissa's guardian and best friend until the day I died, either naturally (which no-one who knew me well would ever believe) or (the more likely option) protecting her from the many threats against her life. She was my other half, my bonded soul. She knew me and I knew her. She had protected me just as much as I protected her, though mine usually involved more violence.

The other person whom I planned out scenarios with, who I dreamed about a future with…Dimitri. My mentor, my teacher in life and love. He had taught me discipline…well attempted and partially succeeded. He was calm and considerate when I was angry and thoughtless. He helped me through the darkness that built up in me from helping Lissa. He knew me and I knew him. We were 2 parts of the one whole and for so very long we fought what we felt – him succeeding a lot better than I had. His status within the school playing a large role in his decision to keep me away – for which I do not blame him.  
His resolve was so much stronger than my own though and when we were together it was like two currents colliding. It had only made me love him that much more, the way he fought to keep me at bay – for my own good. I was so much younger than him and he didn't think it wise. And then one night – we finally connected. That one night that everything had come together…and immediately fallen apart.

After that night the school had been attacked by a large group of Strigoi. Dimitri and I, returning from our brief time together in the cabin had been the first the discover the group – well I had. A new found talent of a Shadow-Kissed, nausea when Strigoi are near. I felt it, and was also warned by the ghost of a friend that "They're here". Dimitri grabbed me and ordered me to run, run and alert the other Guardians. Leaving him was the hardest thing I'd ever done, but I did it and in doing so saved many more lives.

But not enough. We lost numerous lives that night but certainly not the great numbers that could have been. Several students and teachers were taken during the attack and being kept for…who knows what. Lunch while they wait out the sunlight? New recruits for their Guerrilla Army?  
We couldn't abandon them and so, we set out – Moroi and Dhampir – to save those whom were stolen from us.

We fought bravely and saved most that were captured but on our escape we misjudged the strength of the Strigoi. The numbers that they had remaining, hidden within the winding depths of the caverns. We were retreating back to the school, to the safety of the wards and that's when it happened.

I turned back to make sure that Dimitri was following – always the first into battle and the last to leave. A hero and God, a man of honour. I saw him emerging from the caves and our eyes met – "So close" we spoke to each other, knowing that soon we could be together again. My body ached from all of the battles and I could see the tell-tale signs beginning to show on him to and as fast as Dimitri had appeared – he was gone. Bitten and dragged back in by a Strigoi.

My cries could probably be heard in the heavens – my mother the only person able to control me, hold me back from running into those caves. She held my wrists, my waist – anything and every part of my body, pulling me back toward her, trying to get my attention on her "He's gone! He's gone Rose. I will not lose you too!" She held my face now, her eyes boring into mine. I could barely see though from the tears and pain I felt. "Run! We need to run!" and so again…I turned and ran from the man I loved.

My mother never let me go for fear that I would turn back. Once we were beyond the wards, we waited. I paced the edge of them for some time, hoping to see Dimitri walk back in with that strut he had perfect so well. I paced until I couldn't anymore. I'd gone to the church to…I don't even know. Pray? Ha. Now I need God. He's never shown himself to me before but right in that moment, I needed faith. Faith that Dimitri would be okay. Alive and in those caves when we went back. I fell asleep in the pews, my bodies need to rest finally winning out. I was awoken by Lissa whom informed me that there was still some time before they began the search.

She helped me shower and distract me for the next hour or so and then walked with me down to the wards. We weren't allowed to exit and we watched as the bodies of the dead were carried through…and then they stopped. I hadn't seen Dimitri come in. I ran to my mother, "Did you find him?!" She didn't look up from her clipboard but stopped what she was doing, pen poised over paper. After several agonising moments my anger got the best of me "DID YOU FIND HIM!? WHERE IS HE?!" and I smacked the board to the ground. She turned on me, her body straightening to look at me. Even though she was shorter, she had a way of making me feel small.

"No, Rose. We didn't find Dimitri's body"

/

I have already written the next few chapters. So once I am happy with them I shall post xo


	2. Chapter 2

Hey all! 

I am just pumping this out atm, partially because I really want to get to the story that's mine - I realise I could have just done that but honestly, this is all still apart of the big story. Anyhoo, I hope you're liking a quick recaps so far :)

Love, Rahn

/

He was gone. Taken from me. My world was broken in two and I didn't know what to do. I hid in my room and the church a lot and trudged past places which held such strong memories – the gym, Dimitri's room…the cabin. Each day my mind grew darker with what I knew I had to do, what I had to face. Dimitri was Strigoi and I would kill him.

Lissa had figured out immediately my affections for Dimitri after he was taken in the battle and I could feel how worried she was about me but I could also feel how hurt she was that I hadn't told her about my love for Dimitri…about his love for me. I didn't know how to tell her – it was such a forbidden thing. A novice and a mentor? She never once brought it up but continued to watch me as closely as she could, knowing that there was something brewing in my mind. Yep – Rose Hathaway reckless and headstrong.

My mother had left campus about a week after the attacks, leaving me to my own vices. Not long after she left I had turned 18. I filled out the paperwork to remove myself from the schools role – which by the way was extremely easy, they certainly need to keep those kind of documents better hidden – and went to leave.

Lissa knew immediately what I had done. Even though only I was connected to her through the bond, she knew me well enough about what I going to do. What I had to do.

We fought and I said things to her which I didn't even mean but both our emotions were running high. She was so mad that I would leave her – leave her for someone who was gone. He was gone.  
But he wasn't. He wasn't gone. He was out there – wandering in the undead state and I NEEDED to free him. She felt betrayed and heartbroken about me choosing Dimitri over her – which wasn't really the truth but it certainly wasn't false.

And then I lashed out her – blaming her for making me choose. After that…I was on my own. I had never realised how cold the world really was. How large and daunting the task that I had put on myself. One final time I spoke to Mason, my friend and ghost. The last connection I had to…anything really.  
"Is…Dimitri…?" I asked, my voice shaking my fear and cold. I couldn't even finish the question.  
Mason's face grew sadder, which seemed impossible but the change was noticeable. He gave a feeble nod. I looked away, trying to hold back my tears. Mason managed one more word – Siberia. Dimitri was taken…or had gone….to Siberia. He'd gone home.

And so, that was where I went. With the money that Adrian had provided – which I still felt so bad about taking, using his feelings for me was wrong but…Adrian also didn't want to stop me. He knew I'd go with or without his money and he'd preferred I had it so at least that gave him some security in knowing I could be in a safe hotel and feed myself.

The flight itself had also made me feel unwell but I put that down to the lack of sleep and the walls I put up to fight the spirits not holding due my mental and physical fatigue. I tried sleeping through the almost 30hr flight but my body and mind was still racing…and my stomach churning.

I arrived in St. Petersburg and had immediately felt nauseous on the first night. Walking through the streets, my eyes darted in every direction trying to find the hidden Strigoi – but I never did find one. I had booked a room at a respectable hotel close to the party district in the city, but also close enough to the more seedy places where I knew Strigoi would likely gather.

And so I began searching. Walking the night like a vampire, for my prey. For my love. I soon realised that my method of searching really required more thought. I had run into a few Strigoi but none proved the challenge I had expected and I presumed that they were new, therefore wouldn't know anything about Dimitri or his whereabouts.

The Strigoi who had taken him were cunning and knew what they wanted. They had taken him because he was the strongest. I clenched my eyes shut and stopped walking. Imagining Dimitri with those red eyes…it was painful and then the nausea struck me again, so powerful I knelt and actually threw up. That was new.

I stood just as quickly as I had fallen and surveyed the street in front of me. People stumbled around, some looked and pointed – guessing I was some drunk teenager munting at the end of the night. I ignored them and continued to look around – no-one stood out to me. No pale face shone to me like a beacon in the night.

I began to grow disappointed with my time is St. Petersburg. Strigoi numbers were certainly not what I expected in such a large city. Over time I did find a club that Moroi and Dhampir's attended, along with rich humans looking for a thrill in a dodgy suburb. I kept to myself mostly, observing, waiting for my chance. And then one night I met Sydney and my search for Dimitri took an interesting turn.

Sydney was a small blonde girl and with a glowing golden tattoo snaked on her neck. She was…an interesting character and cold, which was something that brought a smile to my face. I found her personality very amusing. She was annoyed that I had been leaving bodies of Strigoi about the city. I had no idea how a human knew so much about my world but then again, I guess I didn't really know that much in the way of life anyway.

She explained the Alchemists to me. It was then that I realised this girl knew the area, the country – perhaps she could help me find the town I was searching for.

"Do you know of a town in Siberia? One where Dhampir mostly live?" Her face grew speculative, eyes narrowing over the coffee cup at me  
"Why do you want to know?"  
"I'm…I'm looking for someone. I heard that they may have gone to this town but I don't know where or what it was called. Somewhere in Siberia" I played with my food, for some reason I just really hated its smell. I tossed the fork down and looked back at Sydney.  
"You don't want to go there." She raised her hand signalling for the cheque. I looked straight at her, my hand immediately reaching for her resting on the table.  
"You know of it?! You know where it is? You must take me there." Sydney removed her hand from under mine, clearly unhappy with the close proximity.  
"It is not a place you want to go. You're better than that." She looked back at me, looking me over, judging my intentions. She thought I wanted to go there to be a Blood Whore.  
"Oh god! I am looking for someone! And I believe they are in this town. I would NEVER become a Blood Whore. Fuck." The word made her flinch – oh sweet Bible Bashing Sydney. She thought for a moment whilst pulling a few notes from her wallet.  
"Give me a second." She left the table and went outside, pulling her phone from her bag whilst doing so. Soon, Sydney returned and her face was…interesting.  
"I will take you to Baia"

/

Next chapter is when things start to change! Keep reading and review my lovelies!


	3. Chapter 3

Hey all,

3, possibly 4 chapters in one day?! It won't always be like this but I need to get it outta my head so I can sleep! Hope you enjoy this chapter. As I said – this is where I began to steer away from the books storyline.

Love, Rahn

/

Baia.

That was the town name. Dimitri had mentioned it once in passing when telling me about his mother. The name had never stuck with me though but the story about his family, the way he adored them, missed them – that stayed with me. How I missed his smile, his voice when he spoke of something he loved and cared for.

Sydney was annoyed because whomever she had spoken to – her Superior – ordered her to travel with me and no amount of convincing from me about not needing an escort was going to make her disobey.

So we made plans to leave the next day. I returned to my hotel, my mind racing. I was really heading to Dimitri's hometown. I was getting so much closer to him, so much closer to having to kill him. No. I wouldn't focus on that, not just yet. Not until I saw for myself that those dark eyes were no longer the soulful, deep eyes that I adored. Not until he himself struck out at me, his emotions for me long forgotten.

I packed the few items I had into a bag but left so many of the clothes I'd purchased for my club hopping in the draws. I wouldn't need them where I was going and didn't particularly want to be carting around the extra weight.

And then I crashed. I was so tired. I think that after all this time I finally felt as if I'd gotten somewhere on this damned search and I could rest – properly rest. I didn't even bother changing, I just fell face first into the pillow, burying my face deep into it and drifted off.

That night I dreamt of the cabin. Dimitri's hands, so strong but so gentle as he held me, pulling me closer to him. My hands tangled in his hair as I drew his mouth back to mine. I could feel a smile on his lips as we met. He sat me up, reaching for the hem of my shirt, his eyes never leaving mine. I leant forward, my hands going to his and helping him, giving him permission that it was okay. It was all I wanted, him, my Dimitri – mine at last. My shirt quickly forgotten I reached for his, fumbling with the buttons. A laugh escaped his lips and he planted a kiss on top of my head and stayed there, breathing in the scent of my hair. He began helping me, steadying my nervous fingers on the buttons. His perfect form now in front of me and all I could do was stare. Gently his hands pulled my face back to him and we slowly laid back down.

I was woken with a start – my alarm waking me up for the first time in a long time. I really did need that sleep but sadness took me over instantly. I didn't want to leave that dream, that moment. As I stood I became woozy – I really needed to eat something. I showered quickly and left for the train station, but not before heading to the buffet breakfast they had at the hotel. Oh god, there was so much yummy looking food…and so much I really had no idea what it was but what I wanted, what I craved was an apple. And dear god was it amazing and after that I was fine. I did eye off some fo the hash-browns, pancakes but my body just wasn't in the mood for deep fried. Weird.

I met up with Sydney. Our train ride was for a few days and was rather uneventful. I rested a lot of the way, unable to really do much more. Sydney didn't seem to hate me as much as she had earlier but there was still this feeling that I was unwelcome or that I put her on edge.

We…well Sydney purchased a car – which she was absolutely infatuated with – and had to drive the rest of the way to Baia, which was apparently in the middle of fucking nowhere. Sydney drove, not wanting me to injure her new baby so I rode passenger and rested – the rocking of the care lulling me, making me calm and sleepy. My emotions were running high, we were so close and I was beginning to doubt my ability to carry out the duty that I had to do. That I had promised to myself and to Dimitri.

Sydney refused to drive the whole way in one day. Informing me that Strigoi were well known to roam the areas outside of the towns within the woods. The roads weren't safe and she'd preferred to drive during daylight. With really no other option, I agreed and we went to stay with a Moroi family. This girl truly had some serious connections.

That night I was awoken by my nausea, it racking my body more than it ever had before. I ran to the bathroom and just made it to the sink, spilling what remained in my stomach. I composed myself and went downstairs, holding my stake as tightly as possible. I began to walk to the front of the house and the nausea dissipated. Nope – not that way.

I exited the home as quietly as possible, sliding the door gently open and walking out into the cool night air. The sickness hit me again but I refused to let it get the best of me. Snow crunched under my feet, the noise sounding like a gong in the silent night. So much for being stealthy. As I rounded a shed I caught my first glimpse of something – a blur of movement.

One Strigoi came at me, charging like a bull – foolish. I dodged without any concern and immediately incapacitated him with a kick in the back. I leapt onto him, my weight pushing him further into the snow and slammed my stake through his back, to his heart. He grew limp under my legs. I couldn't help the smirk – this really wasn't all that hard.

But I spoke to soon. Typical Rose, ego getting to her. 3 Strigoi emerged from the darkness of the woods. I fought them to the best of my ability but it just wasn't enough. One I managed to strike with my stake but was immediately thrown against a tree. The others snarled and began to walk to me. Great – now they were just mocking me. I ran forward again, leaping at one of the Strigoi, a female who didn't even flinch as I punched her in the face. She smiled down to me, grabbing my shoulders. I attempted to squirm from her but without being able to move my upper body, it felt useless. Then, she Glasgow Kissed me – there has to be a joke in there somewhere. I fell to the ground as one of the other Strigoi stood on my hand, crushing my fingers and then kicked me in the stomach, his boot hitting me right in the abdomen.

I was defeated, my body beaten and bruised from the battle. It never stopped me from trying to fight them but they just kept coming and panic finally got the best of me. I was cornered against the shed, the three Strigoi were talking in Russian, smiling as they did so. They were toying me with me, enjoying the battle and dragging it out. And then, my walls came down. With my injuries and my panic, I hadn't maintained the hold on the spiritual walls. The ghosts came flying out and began attacking the Strigoi. They hissed and snarled, unable to get a hit on the creatures but it still distracted them enough.

I reached for my stake and ran – well limped quickly – toward the creatures, staking all three in succession. I saw Sydney as I swayed over the top of the last Strigoi, her face filled with terror. My breathing was ragged, my head pounded and blood poured from my various wounds. Sydney stumbled over one of the Strigoi as she walked to me. I fell, relishing the cold of the snow on my beaten body.

"Rose?" Her hands gently reached for mine, which we wrapped around my stomach. I clenched my eyes shut.  
"My stomach…it…it hurts It hurts so much." The ghost still swirled around me, the headache they gave me pounded behind my eyes but that pain was nothing compared to that of my abdomen and then – I passed out.

When I awoke, I was inside. Thick blankets covered my body, cocooning me to the bed. I slowly began to sit up but was met by a ladies hands. Her dark eyes bore into mine, a soft smile across her face – "Rose, don't try to sit up just yet." I began to fall back down, her hands applying slight pressure. I obeyed, partially because I didn't know where I was but also, my stomach still ached.

"Sydney has just gone into town. She'll be back soon enough. She brought you to us about 3 nights ago, after your battle. My name is Olena Belikov." She brushed back a strand of my hair, her hands so soft and caring as they ran down my cheek to grip my chin. Dimitri's mother. This must be her.

"Thank you." that was all I could muster. I must have sounded so pathetic but I was shocked. I had never even thought about Dimitri's family being here which really is a stupid oversight on my part. Of course they would still be here. She looked over my face, checking my eyes and a wound that must have been on my neck.

"How are you feeling Rose?" Her accent was so much stronger and Dimitri's, his obviously being a bit more Americanised. She began to pull back the blankets and the cool air rushed over my form. I was only in a t-shirt. No underwear or pants – just the shirt. Why did I not at least have pants?

"I'm still a bit sore but…much better. I guess you did a great job" A weak smile came across my lips. Olena looked at me, "Rose, I am going to need you to lift the shirt and just bring your legs over to the edge of the bed." She spoke to me like a child, a scared child but understandable. It was an odd request to someone that had awoken to a stranger. "I'm not going to hurt you but you were very wounded and I just want to see that your belly and other areas are healing as I'd like."  
She began to help me turn towards the edge of the bed, "Can I please have a pair of pants? I feel a bit exposed."  
She smiled at me, realisation crossing her face "Oh, of course. We originally had some on you but the bleeding was so much that I thought it best to just have a towel under you until it stopped. It was easier to examine you that way." Bleeding? My legs looked bruised but I couldn't see any gaping wounds on them. Olena stood and went to a chest of draws and produced a pair of track pants.  
"Let me check you over before you put them on." I was so nervous. I'd never had a doctor – or anyone really see my lower half – except Dimitri but that is a completely different matter.

Olena placed the pants next to me on the bed and slowly raised the shirt. I followed her gentle hands, watching as they rubbed over my belly which was slightly bruised and a bit swollen but not as badly as some other parts of my body. Olena reached for the stethoscope on the bedside table, placing it in her ears. It was a really odd looking thing with a longer hearing bit. I guess in home care you had to make a few sacrifices with the tools. She blew on the end and placed the hearing piece on my abdomen. My eyes grew wide and I stood up instantly, moving away from her. "What are you doing?!" I yanked at the shirt, pulling it as low as I could.

"Rose, I'm checking for a heartbeat."  
"Yeah. I know where my heart is." And slammed my fist into my chest. Ow. "Here. Why are you checking in my belly?"  
"Rose, I really need you to stay calm and come back to the bed. We can't risk you standing yet." Olena stood gracefully from her seat and paced towards me. "Rose.."  
"Why can't I stand yet. I'm standing fine. See. I'm fine. I need Sydney – where's Sydney?" I was becoming frantic, words falling from my mouth like vomit. My breathing steadily became ragged and I looked from Olena, and around the room, to my feet unsure what to do. I kept backing up until I hit the far wall, tugging at the shirt with my hands.  
"Roza," the simple name struck me light lightening and I shot my eyes to Olena's. She obviously didn't know the meaning behind those four letters. "I don't think you knew which is understandable with what I've been told about you but…" She had such a motherly look on her face, such concern for this scared little girl in front of her. She continued to slowly come towards me, holding my gaze, never faltering. It was like I was looking straight into Dimitri's eyes and it gave me some comfort in my panicked state.

"You're pregnant Rose." Her arms went around me as my body began shaking, my tears pouring my eyes. Pregnant. Olena began pulling me back to the bed and laid me down but she didn't leave me. She laid down next to me. Her arms a protective shield around me. "Shhhh. It will be fine Roza" She stroked my hair as I rested in her arms, soaking her shirt with my tears.

Pregnant. How did I miss that.

/

AND SO BEGINS THE STORY THAT PLAYED OUT IN MY HEAD.

I kind of forgot the whole "Dhampir's are Baron" thing :P So that is the only change I am making.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter so far. The other is seriously not far away. xo


	4. Chapter 4

Hello gorgeous readers!

So only 1 chapter tonight. I did plan on writing more but STATE OF ORIGIN WAS ON! NSW WON BTW WOO! On the Blues. *fist pump*

Anyhoo – enjoy Chapter 4. Reviews are lovely.

Love love! Rahn

/

Olena didn't leave my side for what seemed like hours. Her soothing words and soft strokes down my hair calmed me, brought me back to a state where I was able to comprehend what had happened. What will be happening to my body. The shock had worn of slightly and the tears began to dry up, I moved so that my face wasn't buried into Olena's chest, although she never indicated that I had to. I just felt…weak and that I was already depending too much on a woman who I had only just met. I was stronger than this dammit.

How had I missed it? I guess when you're stressed or so determined on something other than yourself you overlook such obvious signs. I had been feeling nausea more often but I was hunting Strigoi – it was a given I'd feel sick. Admittedly it had been fiercer than ever and one of the biggest things that should have tipped me. My period – I was girl, therefore it was something I'd dealt with for quite some time but the fact that it hadn't turned up just…never occurred me to. I was so fixated on my mission that…Wow.

I had felt more worn out but again, I was travelling every night and a lot of the day. Unlike the Academy I didn't really have a schedule to keep to, and I was never one who kept a bedtime if I didn't need to. Even when I did need to I kind of avoided it, sneaking out on various escapades.

But mostly – I had a belly! It wasn't much, more like I had eaten too many cheeseburgers but it was there. All my clothes from Montana had been pushed aside for new ones that allowed me to fit into the clubbing scene. Pretty much all my clothes now were ones I recently purchased and I was never one to pay attention to sizing, just if I liked it and it fit, it was bought.

"Rose?" Olena broke my train of thought and she began shifting to get out of the bed, untangling herself from me. She must have felt my mood change. I moved further across on the small bed, allowing Olena to get out easily. "I am sorry for scaring you. It wasn't my intention but…"

"No, no. Don't apologise. I guess…I guess I should have known and….there was no easy way to do it." I leaned up on my elbows. "I…I don't know if I can do this." My hair fell around my face, hiding the fear that I knew was still upon my features.

I could hear Olena shuffling around, gathering something. "Rose, if I am speaking honestly – no-one is ever prepared. Even those who plan and try to have children. We are all the same and we are all scared." I heard her sit back down on the chair beside the bed. I couldn't bring myself to look up and instead focused on hem of the shirt, listening to her words.

"You're very lucky. A child is a gift and this one is certainly a fighter – just like her mum"

We sat in silence for a moment, questions lingering in the air but neither one wanting to put a voice to them. I lay back down and began pulling the shirt back up, "I guess…you should do that check." Olena eyed me, still concerned about my previous outburst. She reached for my hands and gripped them tightly, "You're not alone Rose." She smiled and squeezed my hand again then placed the stethoscope pieces in her ears.

I watched her intently, she was so very tender as her hands felt around my belly, as she placed and moved the stethoscope around my abdomen. Her face grew serious though, and her touches became a bit stronger. Not hurtful but as if she was trying to move something around – well not something, my baby. Suddenly I felt worried and a different kind of panic settled in – had I lost it? "Can you hear her?...or him? Is everything okay?" I looked from my belly to Olena, her gaze never moving from the task at hand.  
"I am trying to locate a heartbeat but…" her nose scrunched up as she moved the stethoscope again, applying pressure to a different section to my abdomen "I don't know how far along you are and this only works if you're at least 12 - 15 weeks. I did hear it before – when you were first brought it but it has been harder and harder to locate." She continued to examine me while my mind went off on its own horrible scenarios.

What was wrong with me? First I didn't want to believe it and now…now I am afraid that I've lost it? But now that I knew, now that I had settled – I saw more clearly what I had. A gift and I had to protect it. Olena's words had helped me view this differently but what my mind clung to was "_This one's a fighter – just like her mum" _Yeah but let's hope they aren't as reckless, or stupid. I was enough of that on my own but this baby was a fighter and I refused to lose it, now that I knew of it's existence.

Olena had a sharp intake of breathe and I shot back up onto my elbows "No! No don't move!" Olena pushed me back down with the hand that had been applying the pressure. I did as instructed and strained my neck to try and see what she was doing.

The stethoscope moved ever so slightly again, the pressure reapplied as she adjusted my belly. A smile came across her face, she was glowing.  
"It's so much stronger. He was just hiding a bit further to the left. I think," She tilted her head back, like she was listening to music that moved her "We might be in the clear." She looked back to me with that smile and I couldn't help the one that came across my own.

My child, my baby was okay. I closed my eyes and relaxed, my body had previously been so tense and I felt all my muscles fall.  
"Did you want to hear?" Olena was looking at me expectantly. I nodded. I didn't want to ruin the moment with my stupid verbal vomit.  
"You'll have to take the ear pieces from me otherwise I might lose where the baby is." I once again sat up on my elbows, so careful not to move my torso too much. Olena leant forward, a smile still across her gorgeous face, lighting up her features – it was so very contagious. I placed the hearing pieces in my ears.

"Do you hear anything?"  
"N…no…I think he must have moved or when – " and then I heard it. A faint beating, like someone had put a pillow over it. My eyes widened and I stared at Olena, her eyes indicating she knew exactly what the emotions were ran through me at this moment. It sounded like…a horse galloping or…a train chugging but muffled as if underwater. It was so fast and so little – I couldn't believe that I could even hear something so small.

"Thank you" Was all I could muster and I handed the stethoscope back. I sat up and finally put the track pants on but at this point I think Olena had proven she didn't care if I was naked or clothed.

"You'll need to be really careful over the next few months, Rose. You don't realise how lucky you are that the baby is still alive. You took some terrible hits to the area and…I really didn't think he'd pull through. So – bed rest or at least – no fighting or any form of intense activity" Her look was stern but still held the concern from earlier. I nodded sheepishly.  
"I'm going to start lunch. Come down when you're ready. I'm sure the girls will be back soon and will be happy to see you up and about." She squeezed my shoulder and left the room, shutting the door behind her.

I believe that Olena knew I needed some time alone and she was right. So much had happened within such a small space of time and I reeled in it.

Pregnant. Rose Hathaway – teen mum. Well, I was 18 and in many cultures that was late for this kind of thing. I didn't plan on having kids for a long time. Like – really long time. My life was Lissa and being a guardian. I didn't see myself as a family person, ever but now…with this baby it was all I wanted.

My thoughts drifted to Dimitri. There was no way that I could chase after him now, not without endangering the life of my baby again….Our baby. I smiled meekly and placed a hand on my belly. Our baby.

Dimitri had been taken from me but…he hadn't totally gone. As always he'd found a way to make sure I always knew he'd be there. He'd left me with a gift, a piece of him and I had no idea how I was going to handle it. Quiet tears began the fall down my cheeks, my head falling forward.

"Why did you have to leave me? I can't do this alone" I fell back onto the bed, pulling the blankets up to my face and buried myself beneath them. "I need you."

/

Welp! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It turned out a bit different to what I thought it would *shrug*

Review people! I need to know thoughts on this!

Love love!


	5. Chapter 5

Hello lovlies!

Sorry for the delay in the next chapter! Been a hectic end to a shite week.

Thank you for the reviews – they are so heart-warming and I really happy that others are enjoying the story that I had/have play out in my head.

If you were anything like me, when your favourite character (like Dimitri) disappears you skip ahead to make sure they return. I know I bloody well did! My friend just kept telling me "KEEP READING!" HAHA I was so done with those dang books!

Do not fear! Dimka is only about 1 chapter away. Promise. .3.

Enjoy this one though and everything will soon sink into place!

Much love to you guys, Rahn.

NOTE: There is 1 swear word. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

/

I laid in my own self-pity for only a short time before Sydney returned. She was the only constant I had in this whole situation and having her there allowed me to feel some sense…normalcy and friendship. I hastily wiped at my eyes but I was only kidding myself. My bloodshot eyes betrayed the smile I gave her

"So – pregnant. Did you know?" Sydney, always so tactful but really, should I have expected any less. I guess the attachment was one sided. Sydney sat in the chair Olena had previously occupied and crossed her arms.

"No. I didn't. Do you really think I'd do what I did if I knew I was? I'm thoughtless but I am not insane. I wouldn't do that!" I began untangling myself from the blankets.

"I don't know. Seems like an easy way to abort the child without anyone ever suspecting a thing" Her eyes narrowed as the awaited my response. Figures, we're all monsters and they'd much prefer we weren't around but abortion? Oh goodness, blasphemous!

"Wow. I knew you were all…religious and 'we're monsters' but that is fucking harsh – even for you Sydney!" My mind had processed so many emotions in the past few hours but anger was certainly not one of them and it honestly felt…good. Something other than being sorry for myself or worried or stressed – just…anger.

"Fine. I believe you." Her tone betrayed the statement but I nodded, letting her think I bought it. Really, I think she just wanted out and didn't care how she managed it.

"Look, I just came back to say goodbye. I brought you to Baia and to the Belikov's but since news of your…situation my superiors don't believe they need me with you anymore."

"Oh. Um...okay. So when are you leaving?"

"Soon. I just need to pack up the car and I'm gone. I don't enjoy being in this town." She stood up and headed toward the door. "I hope that…everything works out for you Rose"

As I watched her leave something occurred to me – "Wait! What do you mean you brought me to the Belikovs?"

Sydney leant back in the door, hand on the frame for support, "While you were unconscious you mentioned their name and something else but I picked up Belikov. I knew that they handled some medical emergencies. Seemed fitting to take you here." She shrugged and with that she was gone.

Well – there goes my one constant. I got up and tried to straighten myself up a bit before heading downstairs. With a final few flattening rubs to my hair I left the room.

Olena was in the kitchen, preparing something that smelt amazing. Upon my entrance another woman looked up from the table, a small child sat in her lap. She gave me a warm smile and waved at a chair next to her.

"Come. Sit." I complied and settled in near her, the small boy was playing with some toys on the table and didn't even seem to notice me.

"Rose, this is Karolina, my eldest and her little one is Zoya" Olena smiled at Zoya and then turned back to her cooking. "Sonja is currently at work but Viktoria, my youngest will be home soon from school. Oh!" she looked over her shoulder at me "And Paul is outside. He is Karolina's eldest."

I fiddled with my shirt, not sure if I should start the conversation or not. I didn't really know what to talk about – the only thing that kept going through my mind was Dimitri. This was his family, his sisters, nephews and nieces whom he had loved so much.

I had to tell them at some point but it was so difficult to put what I felt and what had happened to him into words. No matter how I did it, it would be painful – like losing him all over again. Up until this point I hadn't spoken to anyone about what had happened – there was no need and I didn't want to. Ripping open wounds that were barely staying shut.

I was pulled out of moping by Karolina, "So, I guess there is no easy way to ask this but…how did you not know?" I let out a nervous laugh, which sounded a lot like a strained gasp. Karolina didn't seem perturbed by my reaction though, her gaze still questioning.

"Um…I just had a lot going on and…it never really crossed my mind. There are certain things that I just over looked" I explained as best I could (without giving to much away) about my Strigoi sensing and the clothes. Karolina listened intently, never once letting her gaze indicate that she thought I was an idiot. Definitely a Belikov trait.

"I guess, in that sort of situation it could happen. Do you know how far along you are? Mama found it difficult to tell." I pondered it for a second, thinking back to the night when the academy was attacked. Sadly, that was when my magical moment had happened and would forever be marred by the events that occurred afterwards.

"I think about…two and a half months?" I narrowed my eyes, trying to concentrate more on how long it truly had been.

Karolina piped in again, "That is about right for your size. Who's the father?" Without skipping a beat, it was out in the open. I shifted in my chair, looking anywhere but at her. Karolina was oblivious to my discomfort, bouncing Zoya up and down on her knee.

Why would they know? They have no idea about Dimitri and me or about the Academy.

"A Dhampir." Karolina paused in her bouncing and looked straight at me.

"Dhampir? No name?" Her gaze held mine, almost like compulsion. I couldn't look away, I wanted to tell them so badly but how would I? How do I in one motion tell a family that I was carrying their son/brothers child and that he was also turned Strigoi.

"Um…well. He has a name but…I…uh…" Olena turned around at that moment and placed something which looked amazing on the table.

"Karolina – if she doesn't want to tell us she doesn't have to. This is her decision and her body and she has only just woken up. Let her be." Judging by the look given to her eldest daughter, we wouldn't hear more about it.

"Can I ask you something?" I pulled my chair in a bit further, crossing my arms on the table – almost like it was now my only support in this messed up situation. Olena nodded and turned back to what she was doing.

"I..I didn't think Dhampir's could…have children with Dhampir's" I was surprised that Karolina was the one whom answered.

"It does happen but is really really rare. Most children born from Dhampir parents are placed up for adoption for fear of the human child becoming involved with Moroi for the wrong reasons but also…it's dangerous. A human child living in a world where their parents are constantly at risk? Most don't want to have their child end up in the wrong hands." She stood and went into the lounge room with Zoya, calling Paul inside for lunch.

And that's when I saw her. Yeva – I was introduced quickly once Olena realised – Dimitri's grandmother. She looked like your stereotypical gypsy lady, very old and wizened. Her skin hanging on to her, hair so thin and sparse but her eyes. Her eyes bore into your soul and she continued to look at me, never removing her gaze from me. It was like she knew everything, she knew all about me and about the world. I hastily returned my gaze to the food in front of me. Seemed safer.

Eventually all the girls were home. I had never had that family atmosphere but as we talked I began to fall even more in love with the Belikovs. Their smiles, their laughs – reminding me so much of Dimitri's. Guarded but under the right circumstances, with the right people you would see their whole heart and they were so very open with me. As if they had known me my whole life.

The emotion I felt stabbed me in the gut, telling me I had to let them know about Dimitri but each time I gathered the courage I would stall and the knife would twist further. The more I spoke with the girls, the harder it became to get the words out that I needed to but – soon the question came anyway.

"Rose, how did you end up in Russia anyway? Seems like a long way to come and hunt Strigoi. I'm sure there are plenty in America?" Viktoria let out a small giggle, finding her own joke very funny.

My face fell as I looked at all the Belikovs. This was the moment and so, I ripped open my wounds that I had barely held together.

I told them about the Academy, about Dimitri and about us. I poured my heart out to them but the whole time, my hands rested on my belly, as if touching my baby would bring me closer to him and bring over that peacefulness he always managed to instil in me.

/

I hope you enjoy it! I am just trying to tie up some loose ends.

Oh man – it is so close to Dimitri being back and I have already written a few of the chapters! THEY'RE SO GOOD! *totally modest* HAHA

I have decided to ignore Abe in this story because…reasons HAHA

Let me know you're thoughts. I hope I am keeping to the world and keeping you all interested.

Rahn xo


	6. Chapter 6 - Dimitri Enters

Hello lovelies,

Guess who is here?!

WARNING: Talk of abuse in this chapter. Be warned.

Love Rahn

/

The only person who remained composed through my recollection of what had happened was Yeva, her eyes still so cold. My hands never left my belly, seeking all the comfort I could from the warmth which emanated from within.

Olena was the first to speak, "Rose, I…realise this will sound odd but…thank you for being there for him and thank you for telling us." Her voice was so gentle as she spoke to me, so sincere.

"What do you plan on doing now?" Sonja asked, her own hands rubbing her swollen belly.

"I'm going to go home." I looked down. Home? Where was that? I couldn't go to the Academy, certainly couldn't go to my mother. I had no home.

"You could stay here." I shot up to gaze at Olena as she made her way over to me. She knelt in front of me, her hands gently taking hold of mine. "We would love to have you stay Rose and help you."

My gaze couldn't hold hers and I scanned the room, trying to gauge the other girls thoughts. Viktoria still hadn't removed her face from her hands, soft sobs racked her body. Sonja and Karolina both looked at their mother, shock taking over their features but Yeva was the one who surprised me the most. She seemed – angry. Her brows furrowed as they studied me and struck fear into my heart.

"I don't think I can. I'm so sorry Olena but I need to go home." I could see the disappointment in her face but she soon composed herself.

"You're right Rose. This is a time to be with your own family and friends but promise me you will remain in touch." Her grip tightened ever so slightly, eyes pleading to me.

"Of course. Of course I will."

"When did you plan on leaving?" the question came from Karolina, she was nursing Zoya, hands running through her child's hair. I think that talking about Dimitri had made the girls realise how lucky they were to have their own children safe in their arms (or belly).

"I…guess as soon as possible. I don't know but…I have to get back soon, there are a lot of things I need to sort out." Olena stood and went to Viktoria whom was still struggling with the news.

"I think at least another week of rest is needed before you leave. Just to make sure that everything is okay." Olena pulled Viktoria to her and began breathing hushed words in Russian trying to calm her youngest child down.

I stood, "I…I don't think I can ever thank you enough for what you have all done for me and I am so very grateful for what you've provided." I looked down as the tears began to form again. "I…I can never express how much I loved your son but…he wouldn't have been the man he was without you and I couldn't have asked for any greater gift than what he has provided me with now. If you'll excuse me" and with that I went back upstairs to my room, leaving the family to grieve together.

/ Dimitri POV

I was so tired. I could barely hold my own head up or even swallow, maybe my jaw was broken but I couldn't feel any pain. Constantly high from the bites.

The bites, my only relief in this place. I guess they didn't realise it numbed the pain from the abuse I received or perhaps that was the plan. Eventually my body would give out and no amount of feeding would stop that. Well, really it would hurry it along.

I shift my hands in their restraints. No, I still couldn't budge them. I lolled my head back, mouth wide open as I tried to breathe. It was getting harder and harder each day.

My eyes tried to open but only managed a very small squint, bruised and swollen from the interrogations. If they were going to keep me, they'd need to slow down otherwise I'd be dead before they got any information.

Not that they were ever going to get any information.

I choked on my own blood and quickly let my head fall forward again, salvia mixed with blood pooled in my lap. Definitely broken.

I had no idea how long I had been in here for. How many days and nights had passed? There was no light, no sun or air in this place. Just concrete walls to mask my screams and abuse. A Strigoi sat in the corner watching me – I couldn't see him but I knew he was there. There was always one there – making sure I didn't die before they wanted me to.

One thing I did know about this place, it was still in America. I had not been put on a ship or plane, only vehicles but that was as far as my knowledge went. What they were after was intel on Vasalisa, the Academy, the bond – anything and everything to do with the princess and her powers. What was she after, what was planned, who was the bond with and how did it work? Each time, the same questions – the voice never changed just the hour.

They wanted my Rose too but I would never hand her over. They didn't know her name, just that the Princess was bonded to a girl. A Dhampir. I would protect them with my life and so far, I was winning.

They hadn't changed me. They were too scared, afraid of the power I would wield if I were awakened. My strength and knowledge would be too great and the leaders were afraid of me overthrowing them. At least they were smart about one thing but they continued to feed from me, beat me – hoping I'd break and let them into my head.

They had picked the wrong Guardian. My Roza would never be known to them. They could take everything from me but never would I let them have her. I tried to fall into memories of the cabin, of her face, skin, breath – her hair as it fell around my face. The memories helping me forget where I was, the weakness and hurt I felt. The fear of what was to come. She brought me home. Roza brought me home.

But as I fell into my dream, I was awoken – water splashed onto my face, removing my long hair that was stuck to the many spots of blood, dirt and sweat which had accumulated. I choked slightly on the liquid, not expecting the sudden drowning. The same Strigoi stood in front of me, her eyes red and fierce. Galina, my old mentor. My interrogator. I knew why they had picked me.

She knelt down, her hand on my knees and looked up under my face "Dimitri, you need to stop these games. Where is Princess Vasalisa Dragomir?" and so the questions began again.

This time was different though, I received no abuse – she was just running through the lines. This caused me more fear than when I was on the receiving end of her fists but once she had recited all her questions my ties were cut. I fell from the chair to the floor. My legs too weak to hold me.

I prepared myself for the feeding that usually happened once the interrogation was complete but again, it never came. I was carried from the room to a cell which had a bed. There was food, water and a basin. I was thrown onto the bed and left. Door slamming and locking behind me.

I tried my best to stand, roll – do anything now that I was free but my body just went limp. I had no power, nothing to offer my body in the way of strength. My muscles cried in agony but my mind was wiped and I couldn't keep going. Not right now and so I fell into sleep, hoping that maybe I wouldn't awaken.

/

There you go! Dimka!

He will now be in our story. I hope his introduction was good (well written, his circumstances are certainly not pleasant)

Reviews!


	7. Chapter 7

Hello lovelies!

I am so very much in love with all the reviews I am getting! I greatly enjoy it when readers try to figure out what is going to happen – it means I've done my job in immersing you within the world. So thank you for that. I brought a very large smile to my face this morning. .3.

I am trying to get to the part where they are together as quickly as possible but I find it lazy and terrible writing to just jump to a point. So I am trying to get there in the fastest way possible (trust me, I enjoy writing them together so much more!) but my stubbornness for a good story is just killer!

I hope you enjoy this chapter. Keep the reviews coming. I love them all very much

Love, Rahn

/

Dimitri POV

I was left in the room for what felt like days. Food came and went, as did my guards. I don't know what they planned to do with me. Keep me as a feeder? Perhaps. It would be the ultimate way of keeping my subdued and addicted to them. Eventually they would withhold the bite and maybe I'd give them what they wanted just for that high.

The feeding and beatings had both ceased, which concerned me but it meant that my body began to slowly heal, regaining some of it's strength. Nothing in comparison to the power I'd once wielded but I was capable of moving from the bed to the basin, gently washing my face with the cool water. It sucked out the head from some of the swelling that marred it. There was no mirror, no piping that I had access to. The taps were even buttons so there was nothing for me to break off and bludgeon anyone with. My food came on plastic plates and I had to use my hands, cups were also plastic filled with only water. They limited the amount of food given to me, enough to keep me alive but still keep me hungry and weak.

Most of my time had been spent laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to remove myself from the room with thoughts of the outside world. The life I'd once had but it was short lived. Apparently, moving around had alerted them to my healthier state and I was removed from the room to another one.

The same room I'd been held in before but this time there was no chair. My hands were bound and attached to a hook which hung from the pipes above. My feet just touched the ground, I didn't swing around but I certainly didn't have balance.

I fought them as much as I could but my battles meant nothing to them. They treated me like a misbehaving child, smirking and slapping me, my flailing a minor annoyance as they carried out their task of attaching me to the hook.

Galina entered the room, her eyes locked on mine. She smiled as she ran a hand along my chest, working her way around my body. Taking in the man before her. "I did well with you Dimitri. The man you have become, so powerful, so strong. A guardian like no other. It's a pity really." She stopped in front of me, gripping my chin as she spoke to me, "Do you know why I picked you?"

I remained silent, my glare enough answer for her. I tried to jerk my head from her grip but she only tightened it, her long nails breaking the skin.

"Oh, Dimitri. Always so silent, even now when a few simple words would free you from this torment. I chose you because I know you will have immersed yourself in Vasalisa's world. Such an amazing guardian, always in the background but always listening. Your silence came in handy then but it won't now. " She let go and stepped back, signalling the other Strigoi standing around to move in.  
"You could be free from this. I can let it all end, you just have to give me what I want."

And the questions started again. Galina's voice never faltered, the same tone and determination coming through. She wanted her answers and until she had them, this wouldn't stop. I remained silent until I couldn't anymore but it wasn't answers that left my lips, it was abuse towards my attackers, towards her and pain. Pain which I couldn't express any other way.

Rose POV

I stayed with the Belikov's for a little bit longer than a week. I remained silent and subdued within their home, my own thoughts racing through my mind as I tried to process what was happening and what I would do next. What I needed to do next and the only thing that felt right was talk to Lissa.

I had to speak with her, tell her what had happened, what was going to happen but…I didn't know where to start. If I called her, would she even answer? I hadn't been in her head for what felt like months. Did she still care about me? Did she miss me? Ugh, when did I become so dependent on others? Then I realised – hormones. Great.

I sat in the living room, Olena was out and Karolina was upstairs with the kids. The other women of the house were at school or work, except for Yeva. I had this feeling that as long as I was here, she wasn't leaving the home. She sat on the other side of the living room, fiddling with a garment she was making. I didn't miss the sidelong glances I was being given though.

I toyed with the phone in my hand for a while, dialling a few numbers and then erasing them. Finally, I gave in. Hitting the "call" button. After a few dials, the phone clicked and a familiar voice answered,

"Hello?" She was groggy and I realised she may have been asleep. I hadn't even thought about time zones. "Hmmmmm, hello?" Her voice becoming slightly stronger.  
"Lissa?" I stuttered, a bit surprised she had answered and now hearing her, my little bit of strength wavered.  
"Mmmmmm…whose this?" She was still waking up.

"It's…It's Rose, Liss." I heard a shuffling on the other end, along with a gasp and what sounded like a grunt from a male. Christian. He must have been asleep beside her and her shock movement woke him.  
"Oh my god. Rose! Rose, are you okay? Oh my god." She sounded so sincere and I could hear the smile in her voice but also the pain, she was so worried about me. How could I have doubted her love and friendship?  
"Yeah Liss. I'm…alright. I'm so sorry." I dropped my head forward, hiding behind my curtain of hair from Yeva's (now very obvious) stare.  
"Don't be stupid."  
"No." I cut her off; I needed to get this out otherwise I never would. "No, please. I am sorry for leaving you and for saying what I did. You know I love you and I hope…I hope you know that what was said was out of my loss for Dimitri and nothing to do with you."  
"Rose, its okay. I know. We both said things. After you left though any anger I felt was lost. I just wanted you home, beside me" 

I couldn't help the smile that came across my face but it didn't stay there long.  
"Liss. There's something I have to tell you and…I need your help." The words caught in my throat. I was the protector, I was the guardian but right now – I need her to protect me. I needed her to save me and so, I told Lissa everything. I told her about why I left, about my journey here, about Dimitri and me and about the baby. Not once did she interrupt me and when her answer came she was strong and determined. She was going to do what I asked, what I need her to do – Lissa was going to protect me.

"I will help you get home Rose. I'll find a place for you close to court but far enough away that you'll be safe. Give me some time but I will purchase your tickets just leave everything to me. We just need to get home." Lissa's answer shocked me. She knew what I needed even before I did. She knew I had no money, no-one else to turn to. She answered like a sister would – supportive. I fell back in the chair, the grip on my phone so tight as I tried to hold myself together.

"Liss, I…I don't know what to say"  
"Rose Hathaway? Speechless?" The joke was meant to try and lighten the mood but my silence informed her otherwise. "Rose. We're getting you home and it will all be okay. I'm here for you but once I do this, you have to promise me something."  
"Anything."

"Never leave me again." Her words were stern but I could hear how much pain I'd caused.

"Never."

Our conversation ended soon after that and I looked to Yeva. She was smiling and this terrified me more than when she just simply stared at me. I stood to leave the room, I needed to collect my things and get ready to head to the airport.

"It's a good thing. You need to go home" I turned sharply, not believing who just spoke. There had to be someone else in the room but when I turned all I saw was little Yeva, the smile still across her face.

"Wh...what?"

"You need to go home. You need to raise that child away from here, away from this world." She gestured to the living room.

"I don't understand." I began to walk towards her but she raised her hands, signalling me to stop.

"Leave. You need to be in America. Something is calling you back there. I cannot see what but you don't belong here. This is not your place or your child's." And with that Yeva stood and left the room. Leaving me stunned and not completely sure what she meant by her statement. Could she have been more vague?

/

EEEEPPPPP! We are getting so close.

I realise Dimitri's part is short but…do you really want me to write about his abuse? I can because – I watch way too many action/pointless violence/horror movies but it just…I think it would draw away from what I'm trying to achieve here.

Lemme me know. Another chapter might be posted tonight ;) I am trying!

Love love! 


	8. Chapter 8

Hi lovelies!

Sorry – my partner came upstairs and stole the laptop off me. It was 2am and I had work in the morning. He then proceeded to hide the laptop so I couldn't even steal it back! Damn responsible people!  
So that is why this chapter wasn't posted! But I have been finishing it off on my breaks today *squee*

I cannot thank you all enough for the reviews. Good or bad – knowing you're reading is just uh-mazing!

Enjoy!

Rahn xo

/Rose POV

I returned home to the arms of Lissa and a judgmental look from Christian. Seemed fitting but he soon softened and his sarcastic manner resumed. As Christian drove us back home, Lissa couldn't stop talking, relaying all that had happened in my absence but mostly she wouldn't let me go. Her hand interlocked with mine and I hadn't felt so comfortable in what felt like a lifetime.

Lissa had found a small cottage house for me. Certainly not something I would have picked but it was exactly what I needed. It was small enough for just one person but not a shoebox. It was just outside the town but close enough that I could easily travel to get supplies. The town itself was about an hour drive from court, far enough away that no-one would know I was there but close enough that I hadn't completely withdrawn from the life I once knew.

Lissa now lived within the Moroi palace, carrying out her duties as the last Dragomir. She wanted me close so she could visit me when she pleased. Upon my return I'd discussed with her my fears and there were many nights of just her and me, pouring out our souls to each other. We spoke about what would happen once the baby was born and what would happen between us.

I didn't want my child to be a part of the Vampire world. I wanted to raise the baby as a human, or at least as human as I could (being a Dhampir). It was a difficult decision that I made over the months as my belly swelled. This child was now my world. My one and only, I'd do anything to protect it and if that meant removing myself from everything I had been raised for, everything that I knew – I'd do it because right now – my baby was all that mattered. My child came first.

Lissa didn't care about my decision, I actually felt that she knew this would happen and it didn't faze her. I let her know that I couldn't be her guardian. Not now. Not until my child was older but even then, would I be able to go back to the old Rose? Lissa reassured me that even if I never returned to be a Guardian, all she wanted was to be a part of my life. We were sisters, bound together and nothing would change that.

One of the hardest conversations I had over my months of waiting was on I had with Adrian. Lissa had told him what had happened, unable to hide it from him any longer. He turned up at the cottage and saw me, several months pregnant. I don't think he believed at first but once he saw my body, he knew it was true. Foolishly I tried to hide it but there was no hiding that bulge.

Adrian was just as supportive as Lissa which shocked me. I thought that it would have sent him running for the hills but he stayed and requested the same thing as Lissa. He just wanted to be a part of my life still, to be around even though I wouldn't be within their world anymore. I couldn't help the smile that came across my face when he held me, trying calm me down.

My emotions really were running amok and although knowing Adrian was so kind, so supportive of me it hurt me knowing that I had wounded him. He never let it show but I knew. I knew that he realised within that moment that I'd never be his.

My time passed slowly within the cottage. I continued to exercise though not as vigorous as I used to and I visited the doctor – a human one regularly for my check-ups. Each day Dimitri was with me. In my thoughts, around me – his voice echoed support as I tackled all these obstacles alone. As much as I loved what he had left me with, there were many times that I didn't know if I could do it.

So often I found myself lost within my dreams of the perfect family, of him beside me. It was hard to move on those days, I didn't want to leave them but I knew I had. I found projects to try and distract myself like preparing the nursery, practising various motherly duties but whenever I did that I couldn't help but laugh to myself.

My friends visited weekly, Lissa more than anyone else. We discussed normal girl things, which was something we hadn't done in what felt like years – with all the fighting and peril we wreere consistently in. Lissa knew that I was withdrawing from the Vampire world and she did her best to avoid telling me about events that were happening within it. Whether that was because I had asked her to or because she feared I'd run off on a daring mission to save the world, I wasn't completely sure but she kept her guard up, never allowing me to jump into her mind. Clever Lissa.

One thing she did discuss with me was changes to the Guardians, namely that hunts against Strigoi were being reinstated. This oddly brought some relief to me. If they were beginning to hunt Strigoi again, it meant that maybe they'd find Dimitri and carry out the promise I no longer could. Of course, I was the one who wanted to kill him, remove him from the darkness but I'd take what I could get.

Adrian provided distractions in the way of stupid games and adventures within the woods, his presence providing a calming effect on my hormonal mind. I wasn't sure if he still thought he had a chance to be with me, that his attentions towards trying to make me happy were his way of showing that he didn't care if there was to be a child but there was no way I could bring myself to love him the way I had Dimitri. I didn't know if I could ever love anyone like I had Dimitri.

Even if I could – I certainly couldn't be with Adrian. He was a Moroi royal. There was no way for us to be together without removing him from court, from the life he also knew. But having him around made me happy and that was enough for both of us at the moment.

There wasn't a day that passed where I didn't think about Dimitri. About the promise I had made him, the promise I had made to myself. I felt so guilty for not continuing my search and at times I resented the child which grew within me. Those moments were short lived though, I couldn't allow myself to dwell on the could haves or the should haves. I had to keep moving forward but something kept tickling me in the back of my mind. A small voice which kept repeating the words Yeva had said. I still wasn't able to decipher them and it was driving me mad that I didn't know the meaning behind them.

Soon enough I came full term. When this happened Lissa refused to leave my side, staying at the cottage with me. Subsequently that meant Christian also hung around. He seemed displeased by the idea of having to stay in the small home but eventually, he just settled into the same routine as Lissa and I.

Then one night I woke with pain in my abdomen. Nothing insane but certainly unpleasant, and then I felt the wetness underneath me. I shook Lissa awake beside me, panic running through me. I couldn't speak I just kept shaking her until she realised what I couldn't say. She helped dress me as the pain, which we learnt were contractions came closer and closer together.

Christian was woken by Lissa once she had helped me. She was just as scared and panicked as I was, now shaking Christian awake. He held her shoulders and looked her in the eyes as I used the dining table for support, "Calm down. We need to get Rose to the hospital but you need to remain calm. And you," he shot me a look "You also need to keep it together. You're going to be fine"

No. No I wasn't going to be fine. It was happening. This baby was coming and now I was terrified. Christian helped me to the car while Lissa ran around and gathered our things. As he settled me in the back seat, his gaze locked with mine. "Rose. You can do this. You're the strongest Dhampir I know. You. Can. Do. This." He touched my cheek lightly and left.

I knew my relationship with Christian was better than it had ever been but his sudden affection for me threw me a bit. He must have seen the fear behind my eyes and I tried to compose myself after another contraction.

Lissa held my hand the whole way. From home to the hospital, from emergency to the delivery room. Having her near me gave me more strength than I think I had ever possessed. I don't remember too much of the delivery, bright lights that hurt my eyes, pain which was beyond any beating I had ever received but Lissa. Lissa's face was always right above me, soft words of encouragement a she held my face in her hands.

And then – I heard the cries and my body relaxed, exhausted from what I'd just been through. Lissa beamed down at me, pride emanating through the bond of what I had just done. The doctors brought my child around the curtain and showed me what I had created. This life that was now mine. A baby girl. My baby girl.

Lissa took the child from the doctor after they'd cleaned her up and brought her to me, placing her within my arms. We both couldn't believe that I'd created such a gorgeous being. Tears formed as I kissed the top of her head. My baby, Dimitri's child. Nothing would ever top this moment. She was so beautiful, so tiny but those eyes. Those deep brown eyes that looked up at me. All I saw was Dimitri. Lissa gently ran her delicate fingers along the little girls arm, "Have you been thinking of names?"

Actually, I had. I'd decided I didn't want to know the sex so I had a few names in mind but 2 always kept coming back to me. If I was to have a boy – Dimitri, a strong bold name for a child born from such a powerful man. But a girls name was more difficult though I found one, a Russian name which I loved, "Anya. Her name is Anya."

/

There we go – 9 months have passed. God I'm good *smug*

I tried to cover as much as I could and the next chapter is purely Dimka. It will cover some of the time which we just read about and also carry the story a bit further.

As I said – I'm at work but will try to get Chapter 9 out tonight!

Also – I have never had a child so I am going from what my friends have told me about child birth. Sorry if it isn't accurate! I did my best! HAHA also – I love the name Anya. I tossed around name ing after a Belikova but…I wanted her to be a new character so…Anya it is!

Much love,

Rahn


	9. Chapter 9

Hey guys!

I wrote this whilst at work so my proof reading was a bit hasty and there are probably more mistakes that I'd like :/

But I needed to get this out. My mind is racing with things to come and AH!  
I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Love, Rahn xo

/Dimitri POV

I don't know how long I'd been here. Months? Over a year? My body was beginning to give in on me and there was no amount of rest that seemed to heal the wounds that now covered my body.

I could barely move, managing to roll over and reach for the glass of water on the floor. Sitting up wasn't an option, the burns and broken ribs prevented anything of the sort. Even just rolling to reach for the water caused me agony. I drank in small amounts, willing my body to keep it down. I needed to keep it down.

Shakily I put the glass back down and closed my eyes. Just let it end. Just tell them what they want and let it end but I wouldn't. They could take everything from me and they pretty much had but the knowledge of the girls would go with me to my grave. I would die for them which seemed fairly immanent.

I'd been left in the room for longer than normal. Maybe Galina was worried she had pushed me too far. Her anger had gotten the best of her - blows more vicious than previous sessions, knives going deeper than before, burns being held in place for longer. I shivered, fear now overtaking me.

Whenever that door opened, I feared for my life. My mental state had begun to waver, I couldn't hold onto even thoughts of my Roza anymore. Her face, her smell – they were lost to me. The last thing that kept me going and I had lost her. With nothing to keep me company, my mind concentrated on the pain I felt, broken bones which splintered my skin, burns which stuck to the sheets and wounds that began to tear open at the slightest movement, crude stitches barely holding them together.

The food and water continued to come, each time the door opened I'd cower into the corner of the bed, ignoring the pain the movement caused. I just wanted to hide, like a child from an abusive parent. This brought great amusement to the Strigoi who entered, an evil smile always stretched across their face. I was no longer the man I had once been. They had broken me, shattered my spirit and body and they revelled in the sight.

More time passed and I remained in the room, still waiting for death to take me. One day a commotion could be heard. I rarely heard anything other than the footsteps down the hall as they headed to my door. I tried to listen but all I could hear were snarls, screams and pounding. Had the Strigoi turned against each other? Tired of keeping me? I knew I was a sore subject to some of them, many believed I should have been killed long ago knowing I'd never give them what they sought.

The commotion drew closer and I moved further into my safe corner, noises which I didn't recognise crept up the hallway. And suddenly, it stopped. All of the commotion and noise came to an abrupt end, a final thud echoed down the hall. Faint voices could he heard and doors were being opened. I moved further away from the door, my body crying out as I pressed it again the wall.

A bright light suddenly enveloped the room, the door banging against the wall from the harsh opening. I covered my face, the bright light like nothing I'd seen in months. The voices moved closer to me, hushed words, gentle words spoken as they moved to surround me. My breathing was heavy, panicked, like they were taking all the air from the small room by just being in it. The light was turned off and replaced by a softer light.

"What is your name?" the voice was female, and very gentle. I continued to hide my face but I knew she was a guardian but with everything I'd been through, trust wasn't something I offered. She reached for my arm, her fingers softly trying to reassure me but I flinched away. I could hear the other guardians discussing me in the background.  
"We won't hurt you. You're safe now" I knew she was looking over my mangled body. I only had a pair of torn pants so all my wounds were on display. They didn't try and move me, or rush me. The other guardians left and it was just me and the female.

"My name is Serena and I want to help you but you need to tell me your name first." I finally looked at her. She was covered in blood, her stake still tightly held in her hand. Realising this she hastily put it away. We sat in silence for some time, Serena positioning herself on the floor in front of me, taking in the surroundings.

"Dimitri. Dimitri Belikov." I didn't recognise my own voice. Deep and raspy. It actually ached to speak, like razors slicing within my throat. Serena nodded, not letting any emotion come to her face.

"Well, Dimitri I've come to take you home. To take you back to court but you're going to have to trust me. Can you walk?" She must have seen my Molinja marks whilst I was turned away otherwise she would have never mentioned court. Serena stood slowly, trying not the startle me. I watched her tall figure as she rose and came closer to me, hands out for support.

I hadn't attempted to walk in a long time and didn't know if I remembered how. Serena took my hands, holding on tight and pulled me upright. The movement ripped open a few wounds and she saw the pain cross my face. Quickly she put her arm around me, my full weight now on her shoulders but I realised that my weight was nothing like it had once been. My large mass now just skin and bone, a blue and purple shell covered with dirt.

We began to walk but it became too much for me and although I wasn't as big as I'd once been, I was still too much for Serena. She called for other guardians to come and carry me to their vehicle and that was the last thing I remembered. My body succumbing to the pain, void of any remaining strength I passed out feeling like maybe – I was safe.

/

When I awoke I was in a bright room, the smell of disinfectant surrounded me. I squinted into the light, trying to get my eyes to adjust. I began to move but found that I as strapped to the bed, immediately panic shot through me and I started tugging at the restraints. A Moroi woman scurried over quickly, resting a hand on my chest.

"Guardian, calm yourself. You are safe within the walls of the Court. You are in the hospital. Do you remember being brought in?" My eyes were wide as I clung to her every word. Calm. Safe. Court. Hospital. I nodded, relaxing back into the pillow but my never broke eye contact with the dark haired woman, my fists still clenched and body tense.

"You have awoken a few times. Do you remember these?" She spoke softly to me. Each word like silk. I shook my head and in doing so realised that the room I was in was a single. It was just her and I. Slowly, my body began to fall back, muscles relaxing in the soft sheets.

"I didn't think you would, Guardian. When you were brought it you were quite the handful but it was understandable. Do you remember your name?" She sat on the bed beside me, careful not the jostle it too much with the movement.

"Dimitri Belikov. I am Dimitri Belikov" My voice was more recognisable now and the pain from before was gone.

"Good." She smiled "How do you feel?" The Moroi reached for my face, running her long fingers over what felt like a scar on my forehead. There was no pain there but I could still feel the wound.

"I am feeling better." Was all I managed. I didn't really know how I should be feeling. My body no longer cried out for death but I was tied to a bed. I looked at the Moroi again, "Who are you?"

"Oh, I am Tullia. I've been caring for you since your return. Dimitri," the use of my name shocked me having not heard it used so gently for some time. "You are very lucky to be alive but you're not out of the clear yet. Do you know how long you were within the lair?"

"No. How long was I kept?"

"10 months, give or take. You strength is beyond anything I have ever seen from a Guardian.

10 months. I did it for 10 months. I didn't even know I possessed that kind of power. Tullia stood and looked at the restraints to me.

"If I remove this, will you be okay? I don't want to have to call the guardians back in again but…you're wrists and ankles need to heal." Her look was stern but compassionate. I don't think she enjoyed seeing me bound, knowing I had been for almost year. Moved from one prison to another.

"I will behave"

She undid all the buckles and examined my wounds, grimacing at my wrists. "You've done more damage but it is healing. Can you sit up for me Dimitri?" She helped me up and pain shot through my whole body.

"I'm sorry Guardian. I will be quick." She undressed me and my wounds, prodding gently, sometimes applying a balm or cleaning the wound. Everything done to my body stung or hurt in some form but I knew it was for the greater good. Tullia redressed me and helped me lay back down, brushing some of my hair from my face. "You're healing Guardian but it will be a long while before you are yourself again."

The old Moroi began to turn and walk away from, "Who knows I'm here?" She stopped suddenly, turning back to face me, her face sad.

"I don't believe anyone does Dimitri. The Guardians who brought you in wanted to keep you hidden until they knew all the Strigoi were destroyed."

I tried to roll over to face her but the pain was too much, "Is Rose here?"  
"I don't know a Rose." Her face softened, realisation that perhaps this Rose should have been informed.

"Rose Hathaway. She would be with Princess Vasalisa Dragomir."

"The Princess has been living at court for some time now Guardian and there is no Rose with her."

This struck me hard, where was Rose? Why wasn't she here with Vasalisa? My mind began to battle all the negative thoughts that filled it and Tullia noticed, racing back to my side. "Guardian, shhhhh. Calm yourself. I can see if I can get Vasalisa for you. Maybe she knows about this Rose?" I gripped her arm and pulled the Moroi closer.

"No. Don't get Vasalisa. Adrian. Adrian Ivashkov. I need Adrian."

I'm not sure if it was my urgency, the tightness of my grip or the pleading look I gave but the Moroi nodded and left the room, another nurse replacing her.

/

So – I have been working hard at work today. *cough*

Hope you have enjoyed this. Most likely another tonight. I AM ON A ROLL.

Love love


	10. Chapter 10

Hello lovelies,

Last one for today. I don't think I will pump them out like that again! Although I got all the points I wanted across I just wasn't completely happy with my writing or story telling because I tried to get it out to you all. Not blaming you – just blaming me for being impatient.

Next chapters will be slowing back down. I didn't really know what else I could put forward to pass the time. I mean – Rose certainly can't go out fighting and Dimitri…we know what was happening to him So I felt that a time skip was kind of due but we are now in the present so let's go on our merry way!

Love to you all, Rahn.

/ Dimitri POV

After Tullia left I began testing my body. The new nurse watched me warily, her eyes constantly coming back to me from whatever task she was carrying out. I raised the bed so that I was in a more upright position, the weight moving from my back to my waist. It provided a little relief to the pain I felt emanating from behind me.

I raised my arms as high I could which was a bit below shoulder height. Looking at my limbs I saw the scars that had begun forming from the first months of torture, now covered with fresh wounds. Some were bandaged but most were left open to breathe, having closed over but still healing. I ran a finger over some, remembering the how they had been inflicted. I began to shake and look down, dropping my arms in my lap, my hair hiding my face from the new nurse.

I heard her make a few steps towards me but she soon changed her mind, returning to the small table she been at. I took some deep breathes, trying to compose myself. My hands now gripped the sheets as I struggled to regain my composure. Slowly, I came back and continue to test myself. Brushing my hair back behind my ears, I lifted the sheets to view my legs.

They were no longer the muscular legs I'd once possessed. I lifted one leg at a time, raising them just high enough to feel that they still worked fine. Tullia was right. My ankles were still healing, swollen and bruised my twisting them numerous times while hanging from the hook. When I raised the left leg though I felt a tightness there and pain shot up my body. I replaced the sheet and lifted my shirt or at least attempted to. I couldn't raise my arms high enough to accomplish this. I sat back, turning towards the new nurse, "Can you help me?"

My sudden question had startled her. She looked at what she was holding and hesitatingly put it down. "What do you need Guardian?"

"I want to see myself." Her brows furrowed at my request

"I don't think that's wise at the moment. You're still very sick and we've done all we could but…you've only been here 2 weeks. You're not ready to be moved yet."

I took in her words and even though I knew she was correct I wanted to see what I looked like, so I opted for something else, "What happened to me?"

She moved slightly closer, realising I wasn't as dangerous as I'd previously been. "You went through a great ordeal."

"I know that. What did they do to me?"

She continued to gaze at me, her expression unreadable as she battled the "Should I, Shouldn't I's?" going through her mind.

"When you came to us you were near death. We managed to stop the internal bleeding and closed off your open wounds. Your ribs had splintered, so we blocked the nerves and stabilised you but it did mean we had to restrain you – not only because of you mental state." She stopped, gauging my reaction. I kept my face passive, listening to the damage.

"Once you had stabilised a bit more we attended to the burns, we had to use skin from you thigh for one of them. It was quite extensive. We also think that you may have had a broken ankle and jaw but you were with them so long, they healed on their own although perhaps not…as cleanly as we'd like. They may need to be attended to later."

I took in everything that she told me.

"Of course on top of all that you were malnourished and covered in various cuts and bruises. As I said – I don't think it would be good for you to see yourself right now." She gentle touched my hand and went back to her table, leaving me to turn over the new information.

I sat in silence for a long while, unable to move due to the injuries. The new nurse offered me more medication for the pain and when I refused, stated that it was for my own benefit. I took the pills, afraid that there was another motive behind her giving them to me. She offered me water and some soft food. It was at that point I realised that she was right about my jaw. I wasn't able to chew properly. This brought on an episode and a guardian from outside was called in the restrain me.

I couldn't even do the basic task of eating.

As the guardian held me down I saw Tullia enter the room, running to my side. She grabbed my head between her hands, eyes boring into me. "Dimitri. Come back to us. You're in the hospital. You're safe. We will fix everything. Calm down" eventually I did calm down and the guardian loosened his grip but didn't let me go. That's when I saw him. Adrian. The nurse had managed to get him inside.

He hovered in the door way, shock across his face at the sight of me. Tullia stepped back and gestured for the guardian to release me. He shot her a concerned look but did as ordered. The nurse shooed everyone from the room and nodded for Adrian to come further in.

He took me in, his eyes wide and full of pain at the sight. I obviously looked worse than the description given.  
"Can we be alone?" I asked, voice pleading "I need to speak with him alone."

She considered the request and looked to Adrian, "Are you comfortable with this?"

Adrian took a moment and nodded, then looked to the nurse, "I can handle him" and with that Tullia left.

Adrian kept his distance for some time. Shock, surprise, concern – every emotion came over him. I tried to sit up more but upon my movement Adrian raced over and shook his head, "No. You clearly need to stay down." He reached for a chair beside the bed and sat down.

"Where have you been? I didn't even know you'd returned or were…alive. Lissa never said anything." Adrian began rattling off questions and concerned statements like word vomit. He was clouded in his usual smell of cigarettes and alcohol, I don't know if this helped him take in the situation. I finally just had to interrupt him, "She doesn't know. I don't want her to."

"Who, Lissa?"

I nodded and looked him directly in the eyes, "She can't know, if she does she would immediately try to heal me and I can't let her do that. It would kill her."

Realisation crossed Adrian's face, "You don't think I will?"

"No, I know you'd wait. You wouldn't just dive in which you've proven. I didn't mean you would never do it." This seemed to ease him slightly.

"Where have you been?"

"I don't know."

"What happened?"

"I was taken by the Strigoi back at the Academy." My hands became fists as I tried to push back the fear. "I was taken and kept" Adrian leant forward, his hand on my forearm and I felt a calming heat run through my body.

"It's all okay Dimitri."

"Where Rose?" I quickly looked toward him, our gazes locking before he hastily sat back.

"Where's Rose, Adrian?" I began to feel my emotions coming forward again – the only thing that kept me going through my captivity wasn't beside me and no-one would tell me why. Adrian hastily sat forward again and replaced his hand on my arm and the warmth came over me again.

"She's fine but…she isn't at court. I can take you to her when you're better but not right now." He looked towards the door but never removed his hand from me.

"Bring her to me. I need to see her. Please." I leant forward as much as my body would allow, "Adrian." The young Moroi turned back to me, our faces only inches apart. "Please, I need to see her"

"I don't think its best right now Dimitri. I promise you she is safe and well" there was fierceness to his voice. "Once you're healed I will take you to her but not right now."

"Adrian, I beg of you. I need her with me. I need…I…" but my words were lost within the pain the shot through my body but not from my wounds. I suddenly felt like I was missing a vital organ, I couldn't breathe and panic coursed through my veins. Adrian placed his hands on the side of my face, "Dimitri. Look at me. LOOK AT ME!"

Adrian looked me over, searching my eyes for a way around this and I was so sure that he contemplated compelling me. Finally, he sighed. "I'll take you to her but…you can't go like that. You can barely walk. I'll need to heal you and you need to stay calm" He looked back to the door and then to me. I began to breathe easier, my heart rate declining. I was going to her. I was going to see me Roza.

"If we're going to do this we need to do it now. I don't think they're going to let me in here again. They didn't want me in here to start with." And with that Adrian became using his spirit on me but only the smallest amount. Enough to allow me to walk on my own and remove some of the major pain that coursed through me. Not once did Adrian question me about the events that had occurred to my body, he simply did as I asked.

I saw the strain using his spirit put on him but he quickly recovered, a mission which he had to complete.

"Come on," he reached out to me and helped me up. "There's another entrance through the nurses quarters, we can get out that way."

Adrian helped me all the way, my body still weakened and pained but not once did he falter. His determination unwavering with the task at hand. Once we made it to his vehicle, he eased me into the front seat and ran around to the driver's side, "Are you sure about this?"

"It's all I want" and I passed out. My body exhausted from the escape.

/

I was awoken by Adrian's gentle grip on my bicep. "We're here Dimitri."

I looked around. There were wide open paddocks, forests lining the side and a long unsealed road ahead of me. To my right was a small cottage with a broken stone fence, gate open and covered in a climbing flower. I looked to Adrian, "Where's here?"

"We're at Rose's house."

"Her house?"

Adrian nodded solemnly and looked to the house also, "She lives here now."

"Why?"

Adrian just continued to gaze at the small cottage. "I won't be going in with you. This isn't something I should be a part of." He opened the door and exited the car, walking around to my side. Again, he helped me from the car and waited for me steady myself. I stared at the cottage, unable to really comprehend why Rose was out there.

Adrian touched my shoulder, "She's fine Dimitri. I don't know what happened to you but she suffered also. She needs you as much as you need her." And with that he got back in his car.

The calming effect Adrian had on me faded and I was once again battling with my emotions. Being outside scared me, I was so exposed. I walked as strongly to the door as I could but couldn't bring myself to knock. I rested my head against it for a moment, composing myself and trying to believe that she was really inside. The last 10 months had been hell and she kept me alive. Was Adrian right? Did she still need me? I looked back to Adrian who waited in the car, his features un-readable.

I knocked as strongly as I could and stepped back as I heard Adrian pull away.

/

OOOHHHHH MMMMYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD GUYS!

Good guy Adrian :3

xo


	11. Chapter 11

JUST READ.

/ Rose POV

Anya was quietly resting on my chest as we both lay together on the floor; my heart beat softly lulling her to sleep. She was a bit older than a month now and each day I learnt something new about her, about myself. I was so entranced by everything she did even if it wasn't much. I lightly stroked her hair, my fingers pulling at a few loose strands. She had so much hair when she was born. A trait that I knew had come from me.

I was always so worried I'd break her with my warrior hands – like a lioness carrying her cub in her mouth – I was so delicate every time I held Anya close to me. She made a small mewing sound and snuggled her face into my chest. I had amazed myself at how well I settled into motherhood. In the back of my mind I'd always been concerned that I'd get bored, or not have the patience to deal with a child but my determination to be there for Anya and I think my stubbornness meant I wouldn't fail. I couldn't fail. More than anything I wanted to be present for everything she did, when she walked, first day of school, first love – first heartbreak. I refused to be like my own mother. I wanted to watch her grow into an amazing woman and support Anya in everything she did, felt and experienced.

I sighed and closed my eyes, relaxing as Anya's small body kept me warm. A noise came from down the hall and immediately I tensed – my guardian reactions now stronger than ever since having Anya. Glancing at the entrance way I could see no outward sign of anybody there but after no other sound; I relaxed my body. A second knock came, this one slightly louder.

I looked to Anya, anxiety coursing through every fibre of my being. Who would be here? Lissa and Adrian always called. Who else knew I was here? I gently lifted Anya, trying not the jostle her too much and placed her on the rug. Rising, I stretched – preparing myself for what might occur.

I cautiously stepped to the entrance of the hall and again gazed at Anya. I had begun my training again but did I have the strength to protect her? Of course I did. No one was coming near me or my daughter and so I went to the door, bracing myself for the worst.

As I reached for the door handle a shiver ran through me, my grip on the door tightening. Something was off. I took a deep breath, composing myself for what lie on the other side. With insane speed I swung to door open, my eyes adjusting to the setting sun beaming behind the tall figure. Slowly, he came into focus. I stumbled back, lightly nudging the door closed. Dimitri. Dimitri stood before me. My whole body began to shake unable to process his presence. He reach forward slowly, hand wrapping around the door, easing it back open.

"Roza." His voice barely a whisper, the air between us so thick. I inhaled deeply, my hands moving along the wall, my eyes unable to look away from his figure. He stepped into my home and I realised that this wasn't a Strigoi. Dimitri was not Strigoi because the man before me was no longer muscular and intimidating, he was lean and covered in wounds on the bare skin showing through his clothing. Dimitri took another step towards me but this time I didn't shy away, I remained rooted to the spot.  
"I don't…This…" for once in my entire life I was speechless. He nudged the door shut but never removed his gaze from me. His hair was still long and curled around his face, eyes as deep as I remember but they weren't ringed in red. They were human. Dimitri was human and standing before me.  
"Where have you been?" It was all I could manage but even those few words were breathless, no power behind them. My mind couldn't comprehend what was occurring.

The silence between us was unnatural but as I looked at him, no more words were needed. Dimitri staggered towards me, hands using the wall for support. Slowly, his hands gripped my hips, his gaze so full of questions and longing. His grip became tighter, like I held him to the earth and gradually he began to move his hands up my waist to my hands. He studied them, turning my hands between his, flipping and interlocking our fingers. His touch so soft, it was as if he wasn't even there. Maybe this wasn't real, maybe this was just an illusion. A sick trick by Adrian. Then Dimitri moved my hands to his lips, a kiss so light as if he might bruise me. I didn't even realise but tears had begun streaming down my face.

Shock removed any thoughts of movement, frozen as he held me. Dimitri's eyes frantically looked over my body, his hands reaching for my face. His weight pushed me to the wall as his breathing became ragged. I don't know what but he was battling. Battling with something so I remained silent, relishing every touch. He struggled to remain standing, using my body as crutch. I continued to remain still, my hands clinging to his shirt. Was he real? Was this really the man who'd left?

My face became buried in his chest as Dimitri's hands went to my hair, tangling and twisting within the messy curls. I heard him breathe in deep, chest growing with my scent. I did the same, enveloping myself with his sweet aroma but it was marred and not how I remembered it. There was something unclean about it and I clenched my eyes shut trying to draw out the smells that were what I had craved for months, the smells that I thought were lost to me.

Dimitri's forehead rested against the top of mine, his nose now cold against my forehead. Unconsciously my grip on his shirt became tighter pulling him as close as possible, if we could be one in that moment, I would have made it possible. He pulled back slightly, his breathing still uneven and he stumbled, favouring his right leg. Gently he brought my face up to look upon his. Slowly Dimitri began tracing my features, my lips, cheeks, neck – his powerful fingers re-learning every facet me. His eyes followed each stroke, taking in every line like seeing it for the first time.

My eyes closed as his light touch brought back all my memories of him.  
"No. Don't close your eyes" and his thumb moved higher, running along my eyebrows. "I want to see your eyes. Don't ever close them."  
I snapped them open, tears now flowing uncontrollably. Dimitri's deep brown eyes never broke focus of my own, his soul pouring out from them as he held me. Suddenly he faltered, his body falling to the side. I held him as best I could, his mass no longer the large man I'd once known. Using the wall for support, he righted himself but remained silent – no sign of pain crossing his face as he continued to look down at me. All I saw was longing.  
"Where have you been?" I repeated it over and over as he continued to silently explore me, always returning to my hair. Playing with it, smelling it – he had always loved my hair but something about the way he watched me was determined. Like I might disappear at any moment.

And then, she cried out. Anya.

Dimitri's face froze, his eyes wide with what seemed like fear. I looked down the hall and back to the man before me. I slid from underneath him, still keeping an arm around his waist.

"Dimitri?" I touched his face, bring his attention back to me and away from where the noise had come. He was still silent, worry and fear covering his features. How was I going to do this?  
"Dimitri, I need to show you something."

He'd always been the silent type but his silence now was unnerving. I had no idea where he had come from, where he'd been, what had happened but whatever it was – he is not God like anymore. Not in the Guardian tough guy sense. I repeated my statement, trying to get the words to sink in.

"Okay" was all he responded with, reaching for the wall as he began to walk forward, leaving the safety of my arms. Even though he wasn't outwardly trying to show pain, he struggled but was determined to walk on his own.

I stepped ahead of him and led the way. My tears now dried and I was unusually tense and alert. Once at the entrance to the living area I looked to Anya and back to Dimitri. He'd paused, waiting for me to show him know what to do next. The fear still shone behind his eyes, his gaze so very unsure of what to expect. Reaching for his hand I help him in the living area, leading him to the couch. Doing so gave Dimitri his first look at Anya, her small body lay on the soft rug in the middle of the room; wriggling and looking for me.

I almost had to pull Dimitri along to the couch, his eyes and body frozen as he watched Anya's tiny body. Gently I eased Dimitri in the seat, and reached for his face, pulling his gaze to mine "Are you okay? I need to know" My protective instinct was in overdrive and as much as I loved Dimitri, my love for Anya was intense and seeing Dimitri, in the state he was – it terrified me that he might hurt my baby…our baby.

Dimitri considered my question for a moment and then relaxed, his body falling back into the seat, "Yes. I'm okay." His voice was shaky but he gave me no reason to doubt the sincerity of his words.

I stepped back and turned, leaning down to Anya. A noise escaped her small mouth as I raised her to my chest. Smiling into her hair I faced Dimitri, his face once again passive as he tried to keep his emotions in check. I covered the small distance between us and knelt in front of him, my hands enclosing Anya to my body. I felt her shuffle slightly and naturally I placed a kiss on top of her head. I looked back to Dimitri and began to hand our daughter to him.

So very slowly he reached for the little girl, his large hands positioned behind her body and head. He looked from me and to Anya before pulling her into his chest.

"Dimitri. This is Anya, your daughter." I reached forward and stroked her hair, then looked back to Dimitri.

His eyes were so full of amazement, his thumb lightly stroking Anya's chubby cheek. She rolled slightly, smushing her face into his chest. Dimitri lowered his head, again move towards her hair, just as he had me and breathed her in and then he broke. His body began to rack with sobs and he pulled Anya closer to his face, his heavy breaths upon her face. She moved her hands to her face but instead met Dimitri's, only heightening his reaction.

He was not hurting her, his hold on her still easy but he certainly wasn't letting her go anytime soon. Anya moved again, her squeaks becoming more distressed. Reaching forward, I put a hand on Dimitri's head, moving my own face so close I could feel the tears upon his cheek, "Dimitri, you need to calm down. You're scaring her."

His breathing became deeper as he tried to compose himself. He sat back, still holding the small child and began to rock her. So natural.

"I was taken from you and while I was held, all my thoughts were only of you. All I wanted was you Roza. You kept me alive but now," he looked to me and back to Anya, I was resting on his legs, observing his gentle rocks of Anya. "Now there's so much more I should have seen. So much more I should have known. This is why I didn't let go. She's why."

He leant back down to Anya and planted a kiss on her forehead.

/

Oh man. This was so hard to write! I wanted – no NEEDED it to be perfect and I don't even know if I got it across properly. I hope you could feel the intense emotion that I wanted to portray. Such a strong and powerful love.

Please review.

Love you all, Rahn


	12. Authors Note

Hello lovelies,

Sorry that there hasn't been an update as fast as usual. I began writing the chapter quite a few days ago but haven't been able to finish it.

Some personal issues, namely a relationship break up have hindered my ability to create chapters that I believe are worthy of you all.

My own emotions are taking over a bit too much and I am struggling to differentiate between Rose/Dimitri and my own problems but writing for Rose and Dimitri also helped me realise that I crave more from my own relationships. That the love and passion I want - I was no longer receiving.

Yes, writing is an outlet to express your inner desire but it shouldn't be done because its everything you want and need. (When you are with someone, if you're single go all out buddy :P)

There are many more factors going on here and I'm working through them but i felt that you should all be aware of the delay in the next chapter. I am very scared of the future but I am tring to remain positive. This is the right thing for me, for my well being and future - even if I am shit scared. How do you be alone after 4.5yrs with someone?

Thank you for your kindness and understaning in this matter.

Rahn xo


	13. Authors Note - NEW CHAPTERS

Hello my lovelies!

Thank you so much for your kind words and support. Was very comforting reading your reviews and advice.

I have just moved to a new unit – just me, my poochy and our pet fish HAHA. Loving being alone at the moment! Waiting for the honeymoon phase to wear off :P  
I currently do not have internet at the house and actually uploaded this at work *is stealthy*  
I won't have internet until mid August. So Keep your eyes peels around that time!

I am madly writing though! So I will have several chapters all ready to be published for my gorgeous followers.

Again – thank you for your patience and support.

Mucho love,  
Rahn


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